Truth Telling
by MaDDii-LeiGh316
Summary: He was lying. What really shook her was the way he looked directly in her eyes, unflinching, piercing her with those steely grey eyes, telling her to believe. - blackkinnon Drabble. Read and review please!


He was lying. What really shook her was the way he looked directly in her eyes, unflinching, piercing her with those steely grey eyes, telling her to believe. And oh how she wanted to believe. But Marlene McKinnon was no fool. Even through his unwavering gaze, she knew him completely. Knew how his perfectly straight black hair curled underneath at the nape of his neck. Knew that he loved to smoke but hated the taste. She knew that he cheated at gobstones and was a pro at chess. She also knew he missed his brother, though he would never admit it. He liked to read for fun when he was alone and he enjoyed cuddling almost as much as he enjoyed shagging. She knew his fears, his weakness, strengths, she knew it all. And now, she knew, Sirius Black was lying. It hurt to know after everything, she still wasn't worth the truth. Shit, they weren't even technically together, so why did she expect anything more. She was tired, angry and hurt. Physically and emotionally drained. And she was done.

"Sirius, just fess up and tell me if you're fucking someone else." The hallow sound of her voice would have unnerved her if she had it in her to care anymore. Looking up she noticed it unnerved the man in front of her.

"WHAT?! Marlene, of course not! What the fuck!"

Marlene's eyebrows shot up into her hair. How dare he act innocent as if it was insane for her to accuse. "Don't even try to act as if you're surprised Sirius. I know the signs. You disappear for days. You get messages you burn after you read them then run out of here with sorry excuses of 'going to the pub to meet the boys' and not a glance back. When you're here you're jumpy and so far gone in your head its as if you're not here at all. Clearly your mind is on someone else. So lets just be honest in what we are doing here. I'm a good shag, you're a good shag. You don't have to fucking pretend for me. You never have before, don't understand why you're starting now." Her eyes brimmed with tears she refused to shed. Damn him for making her show him how much she really cared.

"Mar, no, it's nothing like that- fuck-no-you gotta listen to me. It's not what-"

"NOT WHAT I THINK?! Not what I think Sirius. I'm not stupid and I now you're lying to me!" Her eyes betrayed her and she thought she saw something in his eyes, something in his eyes she had never in the eight years she had known him seen in them before. _Fear_. And to her that fear meant hope. Hope that he did love her. Hope that there was still a chance. And to that hope, she finally succumbed to tears. His fear had turned to panic. His words were rushed. Desperate. Begging her to listen.

"Marlene, no. You don't understand. Shit. How do I explain this. Yes. I am lying. But not about what you think. I swear to you. There is not and will never be anyone else. It's always been just you and only you since sixth year. You have to know I fucking love you!" The world stopped, or it could have for all she could tell. It was as if time stood still. Her breath hitched. He froze. There was no sound for neither of them were breathing. Her knees buckled and the world caught up. He caught her before she hit the ground and her body shook with sobs. His voice was quiet now. "Marlene, you are the only one and you are so much more than just a good shag. So much fucking more." She wanted to believe. Merlin did she want to believe. This was everything she had wanted and more. He was her whole heart. He was her soul and my god did she love him too. But that still didn't change one thing.

"But you're still lying to me. Lying to me about something. Something big. I love you so fucking much, but I can't trust you. And if I can't trust you I can't do this. Goodbye Sirius." Defeated, she turned to walk away. Away to lock herself in her room because she couldn't bare to watch him walk out the door.

"I'm working for Dumbledore."

The words stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned and looked at him. He was telling the truth. The realization must have shown on her face because he rushed on.

"He started a group. A resistance group. The Order of the Phoenix. Mar, we're fighting back! There's not many of us, but we can trust each other . I was going to talk to you about it soon. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. It's dangerous. Too dangerous. I knew if I told you, you would want to join and fight, put your life on the line and I'm too selfish to let you do what's right 'cuz I can't loose you too!" He was right in front of her now, gripping her hands in his own. The look in his eyes broke her heart. She gripped his hands back and looked him square in the eyes.

"I love you. I understand your selfishness because dammit! I want to be selfish too. But we both know what the right thing to do is. And we are going to do this together because damn straight, I want in.


End file.
